Grease Monkey is the kind of strain that keeps things sweet and sticky. Expect rich vanilla flavours, fast flowering times, and a powerful high that balances body calm with mental lift.
Grease Monkey is the kind of strain that keeps things sweet and sticky. Expect rich vanilla flavours, fast flowering times, and a powerful high that balances body calm with mental lift.
Grease Monkey doesn’t tiptoe in quietly. She barges through the door, loud and sticky, trailing a thick cloud of diesel, earthy funk, and sweet vanilla. She’s that rare 50/50 hybrid that doesn’t feel halfway about anything. From the first whiff to the final exhale, this strain brings the kind of full-body calm that makes time irrelevant and to-do lists disappear.
The high is deep, heavy, and long-lasting. Perfect for that moment when you’re done for the day and just want to melt into your sofa, half-watching reruns with one hand in a bag of chips. Grease Monkey is a sleep switch in plant form. But before that, she still manages to spark a bit of happiness and ease in the mind, so it’s not just couch-lock. It’s blissed-out, grateful-to-be-here kind of couch-lock.
Grease Monkey comes from a pairing that makes sense the moment you light it. Gorilla Glue #4 lends its notorious resin production, insane trichome coverage, and that punchy potency. Cookies & Cream adds the creamy sweetness and soft vanilla edges that give the smoke a smooth, dessert-like finish. Together, they create a strain that’s both aggressive and indulgent. One pulls you into the cushions, the other wraps you in a warm sugar cloud.
This one’s all about slowing down. The high builds slowly and deliberately, starting with a peaceful mental haze that makes you grin for no reason. Then the body catches up and drops anchor. Muscles go soft, limbs go heavy, and time gets fuzzy. You’ll still be present, just very relaxed about it.
On the nose and tongue, it’s a mix of diesel, damp earth, and sweet vanilla. There’s some pungency up front, but it fades into a creamy finish that lingers. The flavour has depth, like a dessert that’s been soaked in engine oil in the best possible way.
With around 20% THC and 0.8% CBD, Grease Monkey is no slouch. The combination delivers a powerful psychoactive high backed by enough CBD to mellow the edges. It's strong, but not messy. Great for seasoned smokers and those who want something with a little more complexity than just straight knockout power.
Grease Monkey leans heavily into beta-caryophyllene, myrcene, and limonene, with supporting notes of humulene, linalool, alpha-pinene, and terpinolene. Caryophyllene adds that peppery, soothing bite that makes it popular for evening use. Myrcene is the classic body-heavy terpene and does the heavy lifting when it comes to sedation. Limonene keeps things a little brighter, adding a citrus note to the experience. Together, they create a terp profile that feels like weighted blankets and warm cookies.
Grease Monkey isn’t particularly fussy. She’s best suited for growers with a bit of experience, but if you’ve got the basics down, she’ll do most of the work for you. Expect thick, greasy buds that stick to your fingers and your trimming scissors. This isn’t a low-odor strain, so good ventilation and a carbon filter are recommended unless you want the whole block to know what’s growing in your tent.
In indoor setups, she stays manageable, typically around 110 cm to 160 cm in height. Outdoors, she stretches a little more, reaching 150 cm to 200 cm if given room and sun. She does well in both [Mediterranean] and [Temperate] climates, and greenhouse growers will have a blast with her structure and uniform growth. Her natural resistance to mould makes her a good pick for growers dealing with humidity or late-season rains.
Grease Monkey flowers in roughly 56 to 63 days indoors, which puts her on the faster end for a photoperiod plant of this quality. Indoors, yields range from 300 grams per m2 to 400 grams per m2. Outdoors, you can expect 400 grams per plant to 500 grams per plant if conditions are dialed in. The buds are dense, chunky, and so sticky they’ll gum up your grinder in no time.
Grease Monkey is a strain that gives more than it takes. She’s easy to work with, beautiful in full bloom, and produces the kind of bud you’ll want to keep in a separate jar just for the smell alone. If you're after a heavy-hitting, vanilla-drenched hybrid that delivers on taste, weight, and pure end-of-day satisfaction, then this one deserves a place in your grow room. Pick up your feminised seeds today at WeedSeedsExpress and let her do the heavy lifting.
Ordering Information
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Orders to Australia typically take between 10 & 26 business days.
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